Geek Tip: Do not injure yourself. Ever. Your parts are what make you a geek. The hand for example is required for the use of a keyboard, mouse xbox controller, cables, and many more vital pieces of tech equipment. The thumb is needed for opening soda cans. Legs: transportation to GameStop. The list can go on. Be Warned: Breaking any part of your body will require more effort and will power to complete even simple Geek tasks. Gaming with one hand is possible, but you may be limited to only one or two games. Traveling to the video game store is possible without legs, but will require the invention of the Personal Hover Craft.
My title is perfect for today. Enough said. I'm typing with one hand so I'm going to assume that my audience is smart enough to understand what I mean.
Yesterday I was able to pop in a game I finished almost a year ago. I had forgotten how incredibly awesome and hilarious it is. Portal is way fun and only takes about two to four hours to conquer.Its a first-person puzzle game that takes place in Aperture Science Labs and requires the use of a portal gun to jump walls, evade robots and basically reach the exit of each level. Throughout the game you are accompanied by a robotic female voice who encourages you and help you on your way. SPOILER ALERT. At the end of level 19, you are told you will be rewarded with Cake (hinted at in earlier levels) but instead you are case into a furnace for disposal. You escape and eventually have to fight the computer mainframe while being poisoned by neuro-toxins.
The game is brilliant to me because A) it bends your mind. Using portals and moving back and forth flipping upside down etc is just way to crazy to be missed. B) The voice I told you about (which by the way freaks Shalynn out and causes me to have to play with headphones when she is home) is utterly hilarious to me. As soon as you escape the furnace, the taunting begins and I love it. Near the end of the game, you end up destroying her Morality Core, and she begins to tell you that you are adopted, that you are just a clone and her impersonations of you are ridiculous. I seriously and literally have to pause the game for minutes at a time to finish laughing. Ask Shalynn, she thinks I'm crazy!
So, my song for the day is actually from Portal. the computer sings it as the credits roll. I suggest listening to it while you read the lyrics.
Portal Game Trailer and Still Alive
Portal Game Trailer and Still Alive
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead
but there's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake
and the science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive
I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a wonderful line
and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
so I'm glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive
go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
maybe you'll find someone else to help you
maybe black mesa
that was a joke, haha, fat chance
anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
look at me still talking, when there's science to do
when I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive
and believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
While you are dying I'll be still alive
and when you're dead I'll be still alive
STILL ALIVE, still alive