The Chemistry of Wanting

Craving. Hunger. Frenzied desire to survive. Its amazing how we become attached to an idea, or to a need or to something we have come to expect. Addiction is simple the refusal of the mind to acknowledge that what one wants is not necessary. A craving is just a chemical imbalance in the brain that can only be overturned by that one thing the body is currently focused upon. The funny part, the imbalance was created by your brain. At that point your body has fooled itself into temporary addiction.

Its what makes us survive. It is what binds us together. It is what makes us different from the animals. Yes, they crave and they become addicted, but the difference lies in our ability to become addicted to feelings, to crave friendship, love, companionship and approval. We are different because we can fool ourselves into needing things like comfort, organization, fitness, health, mastery of skills foreign to our bodies, and many more tiny things we don't think about. We are addicted. Each of us craves something different.

What do you crave? What have you become addicted to. What are you challenged by? What have you fooled yourself into needing?

I know this is a strange topic and it may not make sense, but as I sat down today, I felt the need to just write. To explain how I feel about my nature. As I have craved Soda, or specifically an ice cold Pepsi, over the las week, I think I have felt the addiction pulling at me. I have felt the craving grow. I know I don;t need it. I know above all else I need to be healthy: for my posterity, for my own safety, and especially for my wife. No one around me is forcing me to be healthy or has made me feel so bad that I've cried or felt like I wasn't good enough. No one has forced me to feel that way. But I still have felt that. I need to be able to protect my family. I need to be able to play with my children for longer than a minute before I inform them that I am simply too tired for play-time today.

I know its kind of weird, but drinking only water this past week has made me want to change other aspects of my life. I want to exercise. I want to be strong. I want to eat better (still working on the addictions and cravings on that one). Don't worry, nothing much has changed in the last week. I still don't like water. I still want a soda. I am still weak sauce and chubby. But I guess the most important thing has changed: my desire to be better. Lets hope that desire turns to addiction and crazing really soon.